


Ain't It A Gentle Sound (the rolling in the graves)

by Bluejay141519



Category: Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: Getting Together, M/M, Short, jamies confused but so happy, lonely boys, references past relationships, tyler finally getting it all out, very briefly tho i tried to stay away from it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-26
Updated: 2018-12-26
Packaged: 2019-09-27 16:07:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,155
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17165054
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bluejay141519/pseuds/Bluejay141519
Summary: Part one of the winter hockey exchange.It's impulsive and it's rash and it's reckless - it's everything Jamie would expect from Tyler.Except it's also, somehow, everything he assumed Tyler would never do.





	Ain't It A Gentle Sound (the rolling in the graves)

**Author's Note:**

> Merry Christmas y'all :)

The end of the world happened on a Tuesday.

Or- well, that’s an overstatement. The end of the world as Jamie knew it began on a Tuesday, but he’s pretty sure it stayed the same for everyone else. Mostly everyone else. There might’ve been one other person who had their whole life turned upside down, but then probably not, since that person seemed very determined in the whole world-ending endeavor.

So then, quite obviously, the end of the world began, was executed by, and ended with Tyler (as has been the case since the little shit got traded to the Stars, and proceeded to rapidly destroy his previous happy little hockey life). There was something to be said about Jamie’s life, that he can very easily separate it into Pre-Tyler Seguin, and Post-Tyler Seguin, post simply meaning after The Trade™.

Honestly it started simply enough. Tyler barges into his house all the time, hopelessly abusing the key Jamie gave him when he bought the place, just like Jamie knew he would. Similarly, it made perfect sense for Tyler to flop onto the nearest soft surface and say “You know what I like most about people? Pets.”

The twist is that- it’s a Tuesday. A game day, Tuesday. And it’s after practice and after lunch, which means the nearest surface Tyler has flopped onto is Jamie’s bed, and Jamie is currently brushing his teeth in nothing but a pair of boxers and a old t-shirt, because he’s about to take a nap.

And normally, Tyler would be too. He should be, at least.

Still, Jamie has a lot of experience in dealing with his liney, so he takes a second to rinse and spit before speaking as calmly as possible. “I’m not getting a puppy, Segs.”

Tyler instantly sits up, looking sad and horrified at the same time. “But Benny it’d be perfect!! The only thing keeping me from really loving you is your fricken cat, so if you get a puppy, then I-”

He’s instantly glad he’s not still brushing his teeth, because he inhales so fast he probably would’ve choked on his toothbrush. There’s a split second where the words sit in his blank, empty brain, and then the sentence processes, but it’s suddenly much too late for Seggy to  laugh them off. In fact, neither one of them have said anything, just sort of frozen in silence, and anyway of playing off the words as just bro things is going to fall flatter than Jamie’s self-esteem after the breakup.

He slowly leans back away from the sink, looking at Tyler through the open doorway. Tyler, who’s just staring at him strickenly, whiter than the sheets he’s sitting on.

“Um.” Jamie says, eloquent as always. “Okay?” He blinks, and Tyler just keeps staring at him like he’s about to pass out. “Are you okay Segs?”

“No.” Tyler croaks, and Jamie feels his stomach do some pretty unpleasant gymnastics.

“No, Jamie, I’m really, really not.” And well, that makes sense. It means all that what Jamie thought was pretty weird - Tyler coming over when he knows Jamie would be trying to sleep, not bringing any of his dogs, not calling out his presence, and walking right into his bedroom - was in fact, a giant glaring warning sign. He’d be kicking himself for not noticing it sooner if Tyler hadn’t just done two things that he never does under any circumstances: talk about emotions, and admit something is wrong.

“Okay.” He flicks off the lights but leans against the doorway, not wanting to spook Segs by getting to close. And seeing how Tyler folds his legs under him and hunches over, looking very much like a cornered animal, he thinks it’s a good decision to do so.

Also, considering he hasn’t totally fucked this up yet and is, in fact, being very calm and captainly about this, he’s gonna give himself a gold fucking star for the day.

“Okay, so- what’s going on? Is everyone okay?” He has to ask because, if he doesn’t then he’s got to instantly face the fact that Tyler said- said that thing he said, and he didn’t play it of, but this is Tyler, he could say one thing and mean something completely different.

It’s just- Jamie’s heart has been hurt more times than he cares to count, and it’s pretty fucking bruised right now. He can’t deal with thinking that Seggy meant something he clearly doesn’t.

(He also doesn’t want to think about the stupid, giant blossom of hope that happens in his chest because- well. He’s tired.)

“What? Oh, yeah everyone fine. That I know of.” He sighs, and runs a hand through his hair, before glancing up at Jamie. “This isn’t how I planned on doing this.”

Jamie swallows, and crosses his arms across his chest to try and hide the way his breath stutters. “Do- do what?”

‘This isn’t what you want it to be.’ He reminds himself sharply. ‘Tyler is never, ever going to look at you that way.’

“To tell you- um. To tell you that I- I have- I’m, I- fuck.” Segs snarls at himself. Jamie watches as he holds one hand in the other and grinds his thumb into the middle of his palm. It’s repetitive, and Ty only does it when he’s really, really scared about something, and he needs the feeling to ground him.

“Ty.” He murmurs, because- he doesn’t know what’s going on, not really, but it’s got to be serious if his longtime friend is this worked up. “Are you okay?” A random, terrifying thought occurs to him, making him stand up straight. “Are you sick? Did you- is it bad, is it-”

“Jesus Jamie I just told you I love you!” Tyler snaps, effectively shutting him up. “And I’ve been in love with you since a maybe a year after we met! I’m not sick, I’m just in love with - my apparently extremely dense - best friend! Okay?!”

‘Okay so maybe this is what you want it to be.’ The thought dances around his head for a fleeting second, before several things register, each competing with the stampede of elephants going around in circles inside him.

One being he’s pretty sure he’s dreaming. The other - a year after they met puts them at the 2014/15 season, so - Tyler has loved him, has been in love with him for over four years.

“And I don’t- I don’t mean stupid bro love, okay, I mean full out, with all the gross feelings, in love, and I- I always wanted to tell you, but I was always so fucking afraid you’d just- freak out, or leave, or something, which why I told you I was bi before I signed the contract, because I couldn’t be on this team if you couldn’t deal with me Jamie.”

It takes him a second to got through all of Tyler’s ramble, but he gets it. He remembers how they fought afterwards - they’ve known each other for so long, Jamie was hurt that Segs hadn’t told him, hadn’t trusted Jamie enough to know he’d never hate Tyler, especially not for that. They’d spent a week without talking, Jamie getting shameless drunk and eating a lot of shit food, and then they’d gotten together and talked and were all the better for it.

Which - Jamie isn’t bi. He isn’t gay either, but that didn’t stop him from feeling his heart want to beat of his chest when he first saw Tyler at that airport, and it hasn’t stopped him from falling in and out of love with him since. A fair bit of googling explained to Jamie that sexuality exists on a spectrum, which is great in all, but it didn’t explain to him why Tyler, who Jamie was convinced looked at girls and only girls until last summer, was the one to make he fully understand what all those pining Victorian women went through in the stupid stories he had to read in grade school.

Currently he’s sure his internal organs are all fighting each other given the way his insides feel twisted with fear and hope, but Tyler very clearly seems to think he’s going to lose Jamie because of this, and while Jamie would like to tell him that isn’t the case, Segs just keeps going, despite his soft “Seggy-” that he says in protest.

“- and I know this is a shitty thing to do, probably, and it’s definitely a shitty, time, but we spent so much time together over the summer, because of-” Tyler swallows, eyes on the floor suddenly, but keeps going. “And we just- you know we got so close, like as close as we’d ever been, and I missed that, I missed us, I missed us so much Jamie, and I thought- I thought it was too soon, but way to late at the same time, and that I should tell you - I tried, Jamie, I tried so many times, but I was afraid you’d- it would just make things worse, and then I’d be alone and you’d be alone and it was- I’m sorry Jamie.”

Flitting through the things he just listed, he can only really find one thing that would classify as shitty on Tyler’s part, and that’s really only shitty because Jamie is selfish, and wants to know why Tyler couldn’t have told him this, say, four years ago when he was single and not dating and stupidly and hopeless in love with Tyler for the first time.

And while they’re being brutally honest, everything in that big long ramble makes Jamie feel like a sack of shit, because Tyler is his best friend. Very easily his best friend. Jamie can read between the lines, so when Tyler says he was going to tell Jamie in the summer, it’s because he was happy. Tyler was happy. With Jamie. And he knew Jamie was hurting, so he thought if he told Jamie what he felt, then he would completely cut ties with Tyler, and Ty would be alone again. And then, because Segs can be so fucking selfless sometimes, that would’ve been fine, except he would’ve worried because Jamie would’ve also been alone, and Tyler worries when Jamie is alone.

Then to add to the mass catastrophe that this is, he was so happy in the summer because they were hanging out again, meaning that Jamie had to acknowledge that they stopped hanging out in the first place, and then also immediately got close with Tyler when he needed someone to help him stop feeling like shit. Which is a pretty shitty thing to do, because it not only plays with Seggys feelings, but it also implies that Jamie only cares about Ty when he’s got no one else to entertain him

In short: everything he knew was a lie and he’s an asshole.

Also, Tyler looks like he’s about to cry, and even if Jamie might feel like he wants to cry along with him, he really, really can’t handle that right now. The problem is articulating words through the mass upheaval of emotion and realizations going on in his brain right now is proving to be a problem. Which means he hasn’t responded and for every second that he continues to stare wide eyed at Tyler, the forward looks more and more devastated until he finally bursts out with, “I know words aren’t really your thing Benny, but will you please just say something!?”

He thinks for exactly three seconds on all the problems with what he’s about say and then decides fuck it, he’s been hurt enough, and his heart wants this, and he says it anyway.

“I’ll get the fucking dog.” He croaks, his heart thoroughly wrung out.

Tyler stares at him, confused. “What?”

“I’ll get a fucking dog- shit Ty, I’ll get ten dogs, if that’s what it takes to make you really love me.”

There’s a short moment where they blink at each other, probably equally shocked at Jamie’s words, and then Tyler is launching himself off the bed an into Jamie’s arms, hugging him so tight it hurts, but then that might just be the relief of having- whatever this is. Having Tyler in his arms, maybe for a long, long time, is going to always produce that warm ache, but it’s a good pain, and it’s right.

Technically, Jamie’s world ended on a Tuesday. But it’s alright, because he was able to find a new one.

A better one.

 ~~ _Bonus_~~ :

“Four years Ty.” Jamie whispers, later when they’re in bed after the game, and Tyler is curled into his side with a brand new bruise spreading across his hip. He swallows, throat suddenly tight and his eyes burning with unshed tears. “You could have someone better.”

“Maybe.” Tyler whispers back, shifting his head to lay it on Jamie’s shoulder. “But I don’t want someone better. I just want you.”

—-

**Author's Note:**

> Hope everyone enjoyed!! (comment and kudos feed the writer :P)


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